Open Letter to Pakistani Faketivists

Hi,

I have been meaning to write to you for a while now but something more interesting kept coming up. Now that the elections are over and nothing really exciting is going on, I thought this would be the perfect time to call you out for the sort of shit you all pull on a regular basis.

First off, I get it. Honestly, we all get it. We get that you have no real career and zero future prospects as an expert in any field. We also understand that like all humans you have a survival instinct and given that you have no viable career option (either because of your stupidity or bad life decisions) you need to find a way to survive. So it is fine that you have chosen to become an ‘activist’ as a career choice and we totally get it.

Now here is the problem, what we do not get is what qualifies you to become a fucking expert on every damn issue that your donor is funding you on or an issue that has potential for donor funding. I mean for fuck sakes, every 6 to 8 weeks your ‘expertise’ change based on the donor funded project you are on. You start with education or say media freedoms, giving your opinions which are basically things you read in forewords of a couple of reports they made you read when you became an ‘activist’ for some shady little organization. But magically, 10 weeks later, you guys are fucking experts on parliamentary democracy and electioneering in Pakistan. This is even funnier when one realizes that most of you assholes have never even gone south of Faizabad Adda in Islamabad and North of Hyderabad in Sindh. But what is even more mind blowing is the idea that you people, the same dumbfucks who do not have an actual career path are going to tell the rest of us and apparently the international community what electioneering or for that matter internet freedoms look like in Pakistan. For fuck sakes people you are so fucking bad at life that you do not have an actual job! So stop fucking preaching how things should be like! ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!

Secondly, we realize that all of you have twitter accounts. We realize that because you have no real careers or jobs you have a lot of time on your hands and given that being an ‘activist’ in Pakistan now means having a DSLR Camera, smart phone and a Twitter account, all you guys are always online even when you are high as a kite or drunk as a fish. Thing is, none of you is still a journalist. Many of you used to be journalists but you fucked that up and failed at that, that’s why you are activists now… remember? So you know just cut the whole journalist wanna be shit out. We all have television and Internet access, your breaking news tweet that you pulled out of your ass and customized it to sell your brand of BS is not required.

Truthfully we realize that you have to whore yourself out to get a consultancy or funding for a foreign trip but buddy you do not have to suck up to the white ones 24/7. You can take a break you know… A break that most of you utilize to stalk women online and harass them as well … you know basically being all ‘Activisty’ according your mindset. Realize that you all are the online equivalent of beggars who keep asking for money from others just so they can go get drunk or get high. It’s just an added layer of fuckery that you guys are so desperate and animalistic that the moment you see a woman you have to harass her. But you know the cherry on top of this cake of pathetic-ness… it’s when you people have the audacity to attend conferences on women’s rights and actually lecture women (most of whom you have harassed at one point or another even if you remember it or not) that harassment is a bad thing! I mean come on! That is just fucking rich…. And yet this is what you all do. This is who you are… hypocritical asshole losers who wouldn’t get fucked willingly by any one even if all other men on this planet died out. (Or vice versa… gender equality wohoo!)… Point is.. enough with pseudo journalism… we do not need you dumbfucks to be our information providers and enough with telling people off on things that you yourself have mastered by now.

Moving on, dekho yaar I get that you have to bad mouth Pakistan to create an issue that will help you scam the goras. I mean this is your livelihood i.e. you are con artists/scammers who happen to have computers and twitter accounts. But thing is what I do not get is your insatiable hatred for this country and the majority of the people. I realize the money goes to the so called liberal crowd that is hijacked by a few cartels/ ‘Research Institutes’ who have been selling this country short for a while now. But you have to understand that the overwhelming majority of this country is centre rightist and actually socially conservative. This is how we are and these are the morals of our society and this country. Yes there are extremists in the system, but you dumbfucks need to realize that you are extremists too. You purposely bad mouth this country and pull at the extremes because you are attention whoring and from what you have seen your so called superiors (Read Research Institute Directors/Columnists/Editors) do is that attention whoring gets you money. You have to realize that while you are whoring yourself and bad mouthing this country for a few bucks you are actually genuinely hurting the feelings of millions of Pakistanis who are simple people and are trying to live their lives right according to their belief system. Most importantly these are Pakistanis who have jobs and make up the society, the same society that you bad mouth and sell to the goras for a foreign trip here and consultancy there. All I am saying is… At least respect the society that allows you fucktards to still be a part of it even though you whore it our regularly for a couple of thousand bucks. And please do understand that we all know that all of you have tried to escape this country multiple times and have failed because…. You have no real careers or expertise in anything. Fucks like you cannot even get academic scholarships because you are shit at even those. Then you secretly try lobbying for asylum in other countries by trying to generate threats against yourself (Talking about you… Fucklessly Yours… Yup we know about the asylum thingy you been trying.. Also you failed Lawyer… The articles, the book and what not is not going to help buddy..).

Lastly, I just want to say cut it out people. Cut it out with the whole fear mongering online and perpetually trying to sell your brand of bullshit. Recently Dicks 4 All (No seriously the organization is headed by a serial harasser and their employees send pictures of their dicks to women) created panic online claiming that Pakistan had shut down torrents neglecting to mention that only PTCL was upgrading their bandwidth and shut down torrent sites. In minutes, exactly 6 to 7 ‘activists’ went ape shit creating panic and doing what they do best… bash Pakistan. After they were badly exposed by everyone else and called various names, these fuckers shut the hell up. Now to a person who is familiar with these organizations it all makes sense, for a lay man it doesn’t. In this specific case, Dicks 4 All created panic because these fuckers completely fucked up a Consultative meeting on online censorship because well they sent the failed lawyer/author to present their case, who in turn was more interested in attention whoring and ended up calling a Director of PTA a LIAR in a formal meeting. After behaving like this, and getting themselves kicked out and being exposed as immature asswipes, Dicks 4 All had to pull this shit to show their relevance in this whole online censorship debate so that the donor they have keeps funding their ass. Point of this whole story is, we get it guys. We genuinely get it that you will sell your wife if you have to in order to land some funding that will support your drinking habit and ‘activism’. But for the love of bottle… cut this shit out. You fuckers are making serious issues in to jokes. Issues that need serious policy making and legislation are being turned in to twitter topics which inherently end up being jokes by assholes like you. You are hurting this country by being who you are. Bas kar do na.. jao jaa ke nathia gali mein bench pe baith ke philosophy chodo aur chasras piyo.. serious issues ki maan chodni band karo na… bas karo..

I know for a fact that none of you will pay heed to it because well come on you are  failed useless pieces of shit who have no careers and have a drinking/charas habit to support. But realize this… You might think the world does not know what you are, but you are grossly mistaken. Everyone knows who you are and what your reality is, the world just enjoys your helpless whoring too much to tell you that.

Hope you all fall off from your sofas and lose your bootleggers numbers permanently

Logic Monkey